I know I am not the only one

This one goes to the liveliest people I’ve come to love in my life. Ever-radiant with their pair of thirty-two shining brightly, they make my college life worth bearing.

I laugh at almost anything

And beam at my stupidity

But then you too laugh with me,

And I know I am not the only one

I wail at the pile of pending works

And feel the need to pull off my hair

But then I remember you,

And I know I am not the only one

I sometimes feel lost

And stare at a blank future

But then you express the same worry,

And I know I am not the only one

I often wonder if I’ll forever be single

And feel both cool and edgy at the thought

But then you share the ditto feeling,

And I know I am not the only one

I detest the girls always glued to their phones

And wonder what they actually talk

But then you give the same look,

And I know I am not the only one

I deeply hate a particular teacher

For his heartbreaking accent and annoying glares

But then you mutter the same curses,

And I know I am not the only one

I wait for a movie,

More because of the hero’s charm

But then you too come prepared with his history,

And I know I am not the only one

I feel depressed at the rising prices

Of street foods and every other thing

But then you search for a cheaper option,

And I know I am not the only one

I crack the silliest of the jokes

And pout when there is no laugh

But then you are worse than me,

And I know I am not the only one

I always feel lucky

To have such a happening friend

But then yours is the same fate,

And I know I am not the only one 

If i die tomorrow

If the sun doesn't rise for me tomorrow
Will you stand with a heavy heart with sorrow?
For my happy days on earth are over;
And heaven is pulling me closer!

Though how much you shed your tears;
And scream & yell, I will be no more to hear
For, you cover me with a bouquet & bunch of garlands;
I will be no more to smell their fragrance!

Though I 've cherished all through eightee years;
Will you speak to me in your prayers?
Tomorrow, when in coffin I lie
Will my today's memories make you cry?

If tomorrow, I bid a good - bye;
Will you really miss me or just a sigh?
Have I painted your hearts with my love, my smiles? So,
When I go away, in your arms will you hold a while?

Tomorrow when my soul, my body departs;
Will you cherish my art in your hearts?
When heaven calls me & there comes my time
Up in the sky, see me as a star that brightly shines!

My blessed last moments with you;
Will you treasure through or just shoo?
When I leave you all & bid adieu ;
Hope I will be safe in your hearts, for my love is true!

Forgive my sins & forget my faults;
The best memories with you, may never halt!
If tomorrow death arrives;
With you, within you, I always stay alive!!

The truth

He discovered some truths on her death

***

A silent reminder
A chance encounter
Proof of existence
A constant companion

Your daunting gaze
Her shallow look
Departure it was
Those years ago

Now so surprised
He's her soul
Child of heaven.
Bliss of shade.

All these years
He suffered alone.
Childless by choice,
Choice of neglect.

Now his saviour,
She's gone away.
His child discovered
In her death.

***

Green eyes!

He always looked at me with unrelenting hope. His eyes always searching for something in mine, as if somehow he can look deep into my eyes, he'll find something meaningful. I saw that look on his face all the time, the searching look, the inquiring look, all the time wondering if I loved him, asking what he could have done to make me love him back. I cringed at it every time. I wished he wouldn't look at me like that. 

I know what started it all. He fell in love with my Green eyes. To him, they were the most beautiful eyes, and the color he was looking for all along.Green. Green is the color he belongs with and green is what he wants. I couldn't give him green eyes. That's why he looked at me like that. He questioned me, he loved me, he tempted me, he even bribed me. But I couldn't.  Then he felt bad. He felt bad about himself, about the world, and about his life. He hated love, because love didn't love him. Eventually, he blamed me for everything - my coldness, my inability to love. He could never fully decide whether it was my fault or his for wanting Green eyes. I tried to make him understand, but love truly is, blind. 

I felt so sad for him, almost helpless, because the truth is, I don't have green eyes. I have brown eyes. He kept searching in the wrong place. He kept asking for the Green eyes he wanted from someone who did not have them. How could I have loved him back. 

Aarzoo ke diye

Aarzoo ke diye dil mein jalrahe hain,                                            

Meri aaankhon se Aansoo nikal rahe hain,

Jo aaj tum dil me shama ban ke jal rahe ho,

Mom bankar hum bhi yunhi Pighal rahe hain....


Najane ye nain kya khwaab sil rahe hain,

Sapne aankhon me meri pal rahe hain,

Dard itna diya hai tumne hume, phir bhi kyun,

Tumse milne ko hum itna machal rahe hain?.....!!

If Only..!

The eyes that looked back at him were full of love and affection. No. The picture did not do justice to her beauty. The big, beautiful, gray eyes, always lined with kohl, the cute little nose and the nose stud she wore, the naturally pink lips all set in that heart-shaped face made her look like an angel. The smile, the dimples that the smile brought, the way her eyes brightened every time she smiled had taken his breath away every single time he’d looked at her, since the last sixteen years, ever since they were six, No camera in the world, no artist could ever capture her beauty. 
He’d considered himself lucky to have her. To have her love.

She’d promised to stay with him forever. Didn’t she tell him that no matter what, she’d always love him? Hadn’t she promised that even if he wanted her to leave, she wouldn’t because she loved him too much? Didn’t she tell him that she’ll never leave him alone? Then why?

Why did she go? Why did she leave him when he hadn’t even asked her to? Why did she break her promise? Where did the forever go?

He hadn’t asked her to leave. He couldn’t, ever. But, she did. For God wanted her to.

To see someone die is painful. It hurts. To see someone you love more than anything else in the world, die is excruciating.

He blamed himself for her death. No matter what his friends said, no matter how much his parents consoled him, no matter what HER parents said, he held himself responsible. The doctor had declared her brought dead and she’d died with his name on her lips and his hand in hers. He’d seen the pain on her face but he had also seen the love in her eyes.

If only he’d not called her while she was crossing the road. If only he’d not dared her to cross the road, alone. If only he’d not asked her to meet him, that day. IF ONLY.

He looked below. 20,000 feet. He couldn’t even do that. HE couldn’t even die. He knew he couldn’t end his life. The parents-his and hers would not be able to take it. Her parents had lost their only child. His parents would lose theirs if he jumped. 

He walked back to their home. The house she’d wanted since she was nineteen. He knew he’d buy it. Buy it for her. But, there was no her.

He wondered where she was. He wondered if she was watching him. Tears were flowing and he wondered if she was crying with him, wherever she was.

“I don’t want you to cry. Not a single tear, okay? I love you. Always have, always will,” he whispered.

Two month later, he died in a road accident. 

Game Of Your Mind !!!!

The mind is a smart bitch. It always wants you to ask for more and more and more. But when you introspect and analyze the same, it will give away instructions of not being greedy, it will tell you ideal tales of how being materialistic is negative and how life should be lived.

You'll start thinking about how you are attached to so many things around, may it be your phone, your photographs, your camera, your books, your clothes, your work etc. It will make its way to your relations and force you to believe that no one really cares about you, reminding you that you are the only one who knows what you've lived with. Immediately then you will feel enraged and disgusted without assuming that everyone else goes through the same thing.

You would want to break away from this world and go somewhere, somewhere unknown, some place where nothingness is at its best, where time walks with you, where you feel at ease.

The ripples of your thoughts grow, encircling and gulping you down, bringing you at your most vulnerable, almost killing you and making you feel encaged. Everything seems like a daze, old memories of the innocence of being a kid (you wish to be a child again where you loved being on your papa's shoulder, looking at the world) amongst many other things.

You almost smirk, thinking about these and the next moment you know is that your mum enters your room, shrieks at you for day dreaming on a fine morning, making you realize that there's a whole lot of Work to be done which you cannot undo. You sense her expectations and bother a little.  The pressure of being a graduate gushes into you and the mind decides that it has to win this mini battle, because it loves being in greed, indeed. 

It has a two way thinking, a perplexing game that it plays – Mind game.